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Schooling

I am 22 years young Dulari Harijan. I belong to the schedule caste of Nawalparasi district, mid western Nepal. We are socially deprived and economically poor. We are known as “Dalits”, who are socially, economically and educationally deprived. I am the youngest among five children of my parents. Before ten years, my family was very poor and we had very tough life. My three elder sisters did not get education. My elder brother was a talented student and was a school topper. But he also could not continue his education due to poverty. As the youngest child, I was loved by all in the family. And somehow, my father admitted me in the school. I was a good student. And I maintained first position in class up to grade five and continued schooling up to SLC. Now, I am a first lady from Harijan Community of Nalalparasi district who is undertaking grade ten plus two and my family supporting me for educational expenses from their labor wage.

In our custom, generally girls get married at the age of 7 - 10 years. Otherwise community people start nagging her saying that she is young enough now, nobody will marry her. She will be the topic for the gossip of the community. Following this custom, I got married when I was in grade six. I have not seen my husband before or after marriage to-date. My father arranged whole process of my marriage. In Harijan caste, we have a culture of getting married twice with the same person. In the beginning, whole marriage process is completed as per Nepali culture but a girl will remain in her parents\' home. When a girl enters in her puberty, the second marriage is done and she will be sent to her husband\'s home. After my first marriage, which was done before 12 years there has not been any discussion for the second marriage between my family and Sasural (house of in-laws).

When I was studying at grade eight, my relatives used to force me to stop my education. My in–laws protested against my education and they used to say, “We would not take her in our family, if she does not stop her schooling”. Similarly, my relatives used to say, “ Women should not get academic qualification as they should not go for job. They should work as a housewife and their job is to handle kitchen, agricultural work, and cleaning the cow dung.” My parents were convinced to some extent from all these pressures to discontinue my education. But my elder brother was not convinced with them. He said, “I was a class topper student but I could not continue my study due to the poor economic condition of my family. But I don\'t want my sister to follow the same. I will support my sister for her study till she wants.” Thus, my brother supported me to continue my study. I completed my grade ten through these conditions and comments.

After completion of my grade ten in school, I have been approached by a NGO called Indreni for Social Development Forum. The NGO is an implementing partner of SAMARPAN program, one of CARE\'s projects, which implements advocacy-training program based on Rights Based Approach (RBA). They were looking for staff and facilitators to implement advocacy training program in the natural resources groups i.e. community forest users groups (CFUGs), water user associations (WUAs) and saving and credit organizations (SCOs) in the district. I being a girl and from dalit caste was given a priority and selected for the program. And I went to get training of trainers (TOT) conducted by CARE Nepal on advocacy.

During TOT people made comments on me as I was too young and physically too I look small. They said, "Indreni selected Dulari for the sake of fulfilling female and dalit quota. She looks so young and small, how will she be able to conduct training in such mature groups." Somehow I have completed the training with a determination that I will prove and show the people that I can also do. Thus, I started my job. I am supporting my family and continuing my study at ten plus two due to poor economic condition of my family.

After participating in the Advocacy TOT my voice increased. Soon after completing TOT, I have been selected to participate in Journalism training from the support of SAMARPAN, which further enhanced my capacity including vocal capacity. Training conducted by SAMARPAN on DO NO HARM enhanced my situational dealing ship in the community. As an advocacy facilitator, I with my colleagues started to collect base line data of the natural resources groups. And also started to conduct Echo advocacy training for those groups. In the beginning, I was afraid of delivering the training. I used to think that I am from a Dalit community, people would not believe me, I would not be able to convince the participants. But it remained as a bad dream for me. I continued my contacts in several community groups, delivered several events of the community level advocacy training. And I developed confidence of dealing with the communities. Now, community believes me very much. Women participants started to praise my facilitation skill saying that, “It does not matter which community Dulari belongs to. She facilitates the matters very clearly in our local language. It is a great opportunity for us. We, women had never participated in any training in our own language. We love Dulari very much”. At the end of the training, women cried to leave me.

Now, I became an example for a Dalit community.

Thus, working in SAMARPAN program I started to learn more about rights of people. And looking back to my life, I felt I also have to fight for my right. Hence, I advocated against my childhood marriage. And I demanded divorce from it with my family, in-laws and community. With my continue pressure, they were convinced. And as per our culture, in the big mass I have been divorced from my childhood marriage. When I went in Harijan Service Committee (A formal registered committee to works for Harijan justice) to give decision about my divorce, they heartily respected and praised me for so and requested me to be life long member of same committee. Further more they have strongly requested me to hold a vital post for leading the Harijan women. Thus, I got free environment to continue my study and continue working in the community rather than to limit myself in the Parda system (a system, where women have to cover from head to foot) as a housewife.

Now, I am thankful to Indreni and CARE\'s SAMARPAN advocacy program, who taught me a great lesson on advocacy and provided me an opportunity to work in the community. My work reflected in my life and I am released from my childhood marriage, which I was quite innocent about.