Illustrated by Kshitij Yadav, SAKCHAM project CARE Nepal

 

 

I am Binda Lungayli. I am 35 years old. I live with my husband Hari Lungayli, 43 years old, my sons Promis Lungayli, 16 years old and Alish Lungayli 13 years old. We reside in KalinjorVillage Development Committee (VDC), Gharibathan Ward No.7, Sarlahi District, Nepal.

 

I was the eldest in my family. We are three daughters and two sons. My parents belong to lower middle class. They are not aware of the importance of education so they arranged my marriage when I was 18 and studying in Grade 9. My prospective husband was a stranger whom I had never seen or met before. He is 8 years older than me. Even after getting married I appeared for my school leaving certificate exam but failed in three subjects, so I discontinued my studies. My in-laws’ financial situation was worse than my own family’s. My husband was involved in politics and not working so he had no income source.

 

In 1994, I gave birth to my first son and in 1996 to the younger son. My in-laws decided to live separately from us. They gave us a meager 5 Katha land (0.16 hector) of ancestral property.  This was when the misery in my life started. Our hand to mouth existence started. I was not educated so I could not get a good job. The only option that seemed to be there was to brew alcohol for sale. To date, I pray that no one has to resort to such a demeaning means of living. I still cringe when I think of the hardship and humiliation I faced then.

 

For quite sometime, when I talked about my situation with others, I would burst into tears. This is the first time I am sharing about the sexual harassment I was subjected to during those years. Women in this job are despised and looked down upon. Men think of such women as easy prey and are physically abusive. The customers would try to touch me in my private parts and use vulgar language when they got drunk. Once, one of them deliberately brushed my breast with his elbow. I told him that I would tell my husband. He retorted, “You should do that, it will make it easier for us to play with you.” I still burn with anger and humiliation when I recall that moment.

 

With every single drop of alcohol I produced and sold, I was selling my self respect, dignity and faith. We have a saying that ‘home is the first school’. It is so true because the environment in which my children were brought up affected their upbringing too. The customers would send them to buy cigarettes and get them to light up. They would let my children keep the NRs.2 (USD 0.03). Then my children got into the habit of asking the customers if they could buy cigarettes for them to earn the NRs.2 (USD 0.03). 

 

The days passed by and I continued the brewing and selling of alcohol. Then I remember that in November 2007 an organization called CARE Nepal introduced the "Women Empowerment for Transformation/SAKCHAM Project" in our village. Sarlahi District was one of the selected areas. In our community the local organization Bal Samrakshan Sansthan (Children Protection Organization) was selected as the implementing partner.

 

What impressed our community the most was the selection process of impact groups. They conducted participatory social mapping of the VDCs to identify poverty pockets in our villages. Participatory well being ranking was done with a scale of four ratings including Ultra Poor, Poor, Medium and Rich. When the analysis of the underlying causes of poverty (UCP analysis) was done a clear and true picture of our community emerged. The cause of poverty in our community were revealed to include: landlessness, daily wage workers, dependence entirely on traditional occupation, low access and control over natural resources, residing in disaster prone areas, large sized families and many children. Therefore, as Dalit (so-called untouchable caste) and Janjatis (indigenous groups) we were identified as poor, vulnerable and socially excluded groups and marginalized from mainstream of development.  

 

Then women’s groups consisting of 25-30 women were formed and set up as Women’s Popular Education Centers (PECs). These groups conduct weekly discussions. Following a democratic process, the groups were asked to select their own community facilitator to facilitate the discussions. In my group, I was chosen by my friends to be the community facilitator.

 

On January 24, 2008, I started my work as a community facilitator in SAKCHAM Project I was so happy to have been selected as community facilitator. But my happiness was short-lived. Even though I was still in the same profession, my fellow womenfolk had accepted me and selected me. However, the men responded differently. When I went to facilitate in the PEC, discussions on issues of alcohol came up, the men would point out at me and say, “If she does not produce alcohol we will not drink. First, tell her to stop producing it.”

 

I was so embarrassed and disgusted with myself, even while knowing all the time that I had been forced into that occupation for my family’s survival. I decided to leave the profession which I had depended on for four years. This time I had an alternative, I could earn some income as a community facilitator.

 

I now had a decent means of livelihood through SAKCHAM Project. I could live a dignified life and my confidence slowly started building up within me. I started to dare to dream of paving a path for empowerment of women. During the first Training of Trainers (ToT) organized by SAKCHAM project CARE Nepal, I learned that we women need knowledge and awareness. We need to skills training and capacity building in order to be able address the policy and socio-cultural barriers that are obstacles in our path to exercise our rights. It had been 13 years since I had dropped from my school. My hunger for knowledge came back with surprising force.

 

When I returned after seven days of training, I studied the whole night. My husband teased me saying that it was a one night phenomena. He did not recognize it as the latent craving for knowledge that had lay dormant within me for so many years. I was not discouraged; on the contrary I became even more committed. Ultimately, I passed the School Leaving Certificate level with 2^nd Division. I have now joined Grade 11.

 

Since then I have participated in several training provided by SAKCHAM project. These include: role of women in natural resources management, popular education, gender and UNSCR 1325, CEDAW, disaster risk reduction, advocacy and women’s rights. I am confident now that I can work for the empowerment of women. 

 

I can remember in the past when my husband was the Chairperson of the VDC, people would to meet my husband. I would run into the house and hide. When I think of those days I feel like laughing now. Imagine, I am the same person and yet today I am the Executive Committee Member of Bal Samrakshan organization which is a partner of CARE Nepal. I have also been selected as a substitute member in FOWRC, a loose network of organizations that works towards facilitating new opportunities for women to make a direct contribution to “engender the Constitution”, women’s advancement and combat discrimination and exclusion of women. It has a national and regional outreach.

 

In the beginning when I attended training as community facilitator, my husband would ask me so many questions. He wanted to know if men also attended the training and about the accommodation arrangements at the hotel. These days he has realized that my mobility pattern has to change. In order to fulfill my responsibilities I have to coordinate with VDC level stakeholders who mostly happen to be men of course. My house is in a remote area and does not have transportation facility so I have to depend on men with motorcycles to get me to the different places.

 

Our PECs have been successful in various areas. For the first time women have been successful in getting NRs. 1, 19,000 (USD 1030) allocated from the local development office of the government. This budget is being used for income generating activities. We have formed a women’s network including 21 women from the nine wards. I am the Secretary of this network. The formation of this network is a significant achievement when we consider that at the beginning women would say, “How can we participate and conduct discussions like men? Let us have our discussions indoors so that people will not see us talking like the men. They will deride us that we are trying to become leaders.” Every members of the PEC are illiterate so they stamp their thumbprints for attendance. I encouraged them to learn to sign their names. They argued saying it is shameful for women to hold pen/pencil by like men. But now all can write their name and some of them have written letter and poem.

 

As per norms of popular education, I would start discussions with singing and dancing. The men would discourage the women in their families from joining the PECs saying that it was against their tradition for women to sing and dance. Today, these women have joined the network and are gradually learning to claim and exercise their rights.

 

I have learned that economic empowerment commands respect and recognition. It builds confidence and increases mobility of women. Last month, my husband went to Kathmandu and he bought me a pair of shoes costing NRs. 650 (US$ 9.55). In the past, when I had no income source, he would never bring me anything even when he visited Kathmandu. Now he cares about me. I can buy the shoes myself but he is thinking of buying for me. When I was pregnant I used to suppress my desire to eat even small things such as green chilly and potato.  At the time, he never even used to ask me what I wanted to eat. Now, he does. Now, I feel that I am really a married woman. See, how economy plays an important role in the lives of the people.

 

 Programs such as CARE Nepal\'s SAKCHAM Project are crucial in such transformation process of women. It is very important for us and our community to have formation of homogenous groups. The common factor helps to unite and build solidarity among us. It makes our PVSE groups stronger; our voices are heard and accountable. This gives tremendous support for people like us to be involved in the process of our own economic, social and political changes heading towards sustainable development.

 

Programs such as SAKCHAM will be time bound. The lasting value is in the seed of empowerment sown by the project. This will be nurtured by the community and will not end. We are the ones who will taste the fruits of empowerment so we have to continue the work. Projects end but life does not. I will continue to devote my life to empower other women. I have learned the process of sustainable progress not a temporary one.

 

My goal is to become the VDC chairperson, then the District and then at the national level. We all know that the person who cooks is the person with the power to serve and determine the portions. Policy making and implementation are similar. At present, there are no women in decision-making positions so we have discriminatory policies and laws. So, I want to join politics and reach decision-making position so I can serve justice for women. This is an oath I take in this life. My dream is not for myself alone. I dream and have a vision for the women of my community. We will all join hands together and remain committed to uproot this unjust and deep rooted patriarchy system. This system has nurture destructive religious and ritual practices, institutionalized social norms and values which are against women. I have just lit the flame of hope. My prayer is that this flame set the village ablaze with empowered women through their transformation.

 

Transformation witnessed by men   I am hundred and three years old now. Prior to this, I have never seen women gather in the community in my life time. Today hundreds of women have gathered to celebrate the 99th International Women's Day. Change is coming in the lives of women and in the life of the community.   Bir Bahadur Khadka

 

Today my livelihood has improved. Even my husband has started a small clothes shop. We have installed bio-gas in the house. We have taken responsibility for enrolling the children in boarding school. To top it all I have gained reputation and recognition.